There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Bird. How Absurd To Swallow A Bird?

I am now a 'bird rescuer'. I have rescued three in total in the last week and a half alone!

1) One day after school my mum called out "Quick come here!" I rushed into the room, to see a bird through the window, just sitting on the ledge, looking in. I could tell by the fuzzy head that it was just a little baby birdy, and a very cute one too. As we watched it, it fell back onto its butt, and just sat there, its legs sticking up into the air. It didnt try to get up at all.

I went outside to see if there was a mummy and daddy around, and there was, but there was no way that they would be able to help it. The bird jumped off the window sill and wondered into the vegie patch.

Mum convinced me to wait half an hour before we moved it, so we left it. Although, after we c came back it had gone. I assume it had a quick learn-to-fly-in-3-easy-steps! course or
somthing.

2) I got picked up early from school one day. As we were driving out of the carpark, I could see some birds on the road. Usually they are smart enough to fly out of the way so we carried on driving. as I looked back, there was one still sitting on the road - inches from where we had driven!

I jumped out of the car and had a closer looked. It looked like another baby had fallen out of a tree, couldnt fly yet, and the mum couldnt help it. I went to pick it up, but it half flied, half hopped along the ground for a metre and stopped again. I didnt want it to get squashed, so I picked it up and moved it off the road into the trees.

3) As we were sititng down to dinner, there came a load THUD from the front of the house. I imediatly thought was a cat had ran into the wall! Although i didnt realise until later they were both in the same room. I was close though - a bird had flown straight into a window and knocked itself out. By the time i got there, some 1.769 seconds or so later, the other birds were already poking at it.

I picked it up to bring inside. My parents wouldnt take it to the RSPCA because they didnt
think it would survive the 20 minutes to get there, so we all ran frantically around searching for the right size box. The poor thing had hit itself on the head, and had a slightly swollen eye, as well as being dazed. I wrapped it in a towel, in a box, and put it in the wheelbarrow outside.

Throughout the evening (every 10 minutes) I went out to check on it. There was one point where i thought it had died, but it just turned out the be asleep. Can birds sleep? They can now.

A few hours later, so everyones amazment, it had recovered enough and flown away!
Well, either that or it had been 'got' by a cat.


And that is how I save the birds =)

I Live With A Pyro

Guess what I found in the spair room lying next to each other on the bed;

• 15 boxes of matchsticks

• a can of aerosol mortein

• and a fire blanket

Is anyone else a bit worried?

gig·gle [gig-uhl] A short, spasmodic laugh.

My sister, Hannah, is a gymnast, and is always upside down, back to front or inside out, one way or another. (she can do some really odd things!)

One of the rare occasions where we wern't fighting, she wanted me to do some handstands with her. She was trying her hardest to be quiet, as she was already supposed to be in bed, so we decided to go into my room, where there was a bit more space to do them.

I was still scared of hitting the walls though, so she told me to do a handstand leaning against my bed. It took a while, concidering I am a lot taller than the bed, and when I am against it, it doesn't support all of me.

We were having a good time and laughing like crazy when i started falling backwards. Her, being too small to catch me, she started shooting instructions at me!

"Quick! Shuffle your feet forward!"

I collapsed into giggles, shrieking,

"Which way are my feet???"

By this stage she was snorting with laughter too.

"I meant your legs! shuffle your legs!"

As i landed on my head, slipped sideways, twisted my body around - all in slow motion, of course - i ended up upside down, and lay there for a while, in a heap, shaking with laughter, while Hannah managed to mumble out, with tears streaming down her face"

"Hands! Meant...hands....forward."

All of a sudden, the monster, Mum, stormed in, her face bright red
"GET TO BED NOW!"

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If your name is bob, you have the potential to typo your name into boob or somthing.

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Do you reckon if you chopped my head off, I'd be one of those headless chickens running all over the place?
Do you want to try?
Sure. Because then i wouldn't have a throat. And then i wouldn't have a sore throat.

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Free Publicity To All, And To All A Good Night

As i was talking to my friend over messenger.

i was talking to mum the other day

"Did you find your dictionary?"
"Nah, i just borrowed Hannahs"
"well at least you can order the new edition for next year"
"Maybe. But if i find it lurking in my locker then I won't. 'New Edition" probably means a different cover. Either that, or it has the definition for 'Emo' in it. And EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT EMO MEANS"

giggles from both ends

- we were on the phone by the way.

haha we didnt actually have giggles coming out our butts

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once i spend a whole friggin hour convincing my blonde friend that she was wrong, and that crunchies are blonde on the outside. so i cant possible be a crunchie

"see amy, crunchies are yellow on the outside. the chocolate is on the outside, and chocolate is....oh shit"

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"I got my picture taken with santa and fi today. I swear he sneaked a peak down my top"

"OHMIGOD horny santa!"

"He is. He loves his hoe's. Geddit!! Ho ho ho, merry chrismas?? He's not allowed to say it anymore though . It's derogitory to women, and scares children. instead, imagine a santa going ha ha ha with an evil grin.... can't imagine that being scary.

-silence-

"He has to say Ha Ha Ha now."

"WHAT! Ho Ho Ho was ALWAYS his thing"

"I know! Who cares about skanks and whores. It's free publicity!"

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"Yeah the Asian wogs are hilarious. Aways are. You see them walk around school in their a crunchy nut clusters and cant help but laugh."

Incy Wincy Spider

Today was very crappy.
Softball was a complete waste of time. I have about 30 reasons why, but seeing as i have been telling myself, Fi, and everyone else ALL week, i will take a break now.
Basically though, the only reason I played was because Fi's and my parents bribed us, as well as telling us that if we did play, there would have more reasons for us not to play next week.

In other things, it was really really hot! Fi and i decided to go to knox, as we needed to get Chrissy presents for our friends. We didn't end up getting any presents.

• We had a spray tan fight - we have the stains to prove it!

• We smelled all the lip glosses in The Body Shop.

• We tried on a stack of clothes.

• And bought them.

• We had our photo taken with Santa!!! I think we sqashed him, sitting on his lap.

I ended up buying this dress with white hearts. Then i was broke.

Last night i had a spider in my room.
"mum, there's a spider in my room. Can you get rid of it?"

-she got a broom-

"i think it might be a white tail"
"MUM ITS MOVING, QUICK GET IT, ITS RUNNING AWAY. OHIGOD ITS ON THE BROOM! MUM ITS ON THE BROOM. ITS ON THE FLOOR, QUICK SQUASH IT, SQUASH IT, SQUASH IT!!! EWW I DONT WANT SPIDER JUICE ON THE FLOOR, OK SQUASH IT!"

"naomi, shut up. Ah got it!

"QUICK FLUSH IT FLUSH IT FLUSH IT."

"OK! Look, it's not a white tail."

i was so traumatised.


I also found 2 more bugs on my pillow.
What am I? A friggin' bug zoo???

Why The Name?

Why the long face?

I needed somthing catchy. Something to remember. Somthing funny (ish).
What else but Maccas?

Yes, i did have this sudden urge to blog. I have Blogitis.
No, i am not a nerd...yet.

Now about me.
Naomi, 14

What else?
Long time violinist. Loooonnnngggg time.

i think im funny. haha. i can speak Chinese. I wish...and it's bed time.
-grumpy face-

hey, i told you i was only 14.